We turn the page to Proverbs 10. There is a lot of great wisdom in this chapter, and we want to break this up and walk through each segment. Therefore, the first text we are going to cover is Proverbs 10:1. Let us look at this text and work through it.

 

First, this Proverb comes from Solomon. Solomon is specifically mentioned to perhaps add weight to what is to be said. What we find in our verse is a contrast between a wise and foolish son. To delve into this, we have spent a LOT of time dealing with wisdom in contrast to foolishness so we would encourage the reader to look back over all the previous posts. Wisdom should be understood as something to be desired, pursued after, and thirsted for. Now the application comes in a unique way.

 

The contrast deals with a wise and foolish son and is based on whether the son follows or rejects the precepts being taught to him. The wise son makes a glad father. There is something about a father with gladness in his heart toward his son. He is proud of his son, and walks with his head held up high. This son carries with him his father’s approval and support. The word for glad is translated as either to have gladness in, or to cause to be glad. The father, is glad in and the son makes the father glad with his choice to obey and follow wisdom.

 

The word for gladness is found over one hundred times in the Old Testament. To help narrow down this word, the one time we find this word being used in Proverbs, which we have covered, is Proverbs 5:18, and is translated as the word rejoice. The association of this gladness is not just a shallow or empty type feeling. Instead, the source of this joy, and the depth covers the heart (Exodus 4:14), the soul (Psalm 86:4), and a joy in the eye (Proverbs 15:30).

 

The opposite shows the depth of foolishness. A son who is foolish brings grief, not to the father, but to the mother. Why the shift of focus? The difference is not that a mother is not proud of a wise son, or the father is not ashamed of the foolish son, but more of a focus of the height and depth of emotions. For the father, a man, who is often not as emotionally driven, the son sometimes has to earn and gain the respect from the father. This brings joy from the father. To have a father shake the hand of his son, look him in the eye, and say, “I am proud of you” is one of the greatest and highest levels of accomplishment that I, a son, and now a Father, could ever imagine having or giving.

 

The same is true as well for foolishness. The foolish son can hurt the mother, a woman, one who is often emotionally driven, much deeper and more painful. When foolishness is present, the mother is crushed. A father will be disappointed for sure. But the father will move on, allowing the son to hit rock bottom, and if that is not enough, will allow him to stay there until they figure it out. The mother, however, is different. The mother will often times try to soften the blow. They support, help, and walk with the son.

 

This blog is not going to explore the nuances of either having the son hit rock bottom, or to be there for them as there are too many different scenarios. However, handling a child that is acting foolish is very hard and should be done with a lot of prayer.

 

Finally, looking across the Scriptures, we find this theme being carried through several places. We could, and should, refer to Proverbs 15:20; Proverbs 17:21, 25; Proverbs 19:13; Proverbs 23:15-16; Proverbs 23:24-25; Proverbs 29:3, 15, and finally Ecclesiastes 2:19. The Bible is very clear about the difference. So what do we, as parents, do in light of all of this? There are two lessons for us as adults, as well as one lesson for any child reading this.

 

First, children or young adults, your parents are not perfect. However, if their desire is to teach you the truth of God’s Word, and to walk Biblically, then you have a responsibility to follow and obey. The consequences of your decisions rest only on your shoulder. It is reprehensible for you to expect your parents to bail you out of your problems, if you willingly walk away and ignore the solid teaching of your parents. The consequences should rest on your own shoulder. Are there some other nuances here, yes. But I find those the exception, not the norm. Therefore, listen to your parents. If they are teaching you God’s Word, then obey and follow them. The Bible talks a lot about obedience to your parents and I would advise a good study, or work with your parents on that.

 

Parents, two lessons. First, God has given you your child. He wants you to raise them up in a way that will honor Him first and foremost. Teach your children the Scriptures and how to walk in the Word of God. That is your responsibility. The free will they have and whether they obey or not is not. You cannot force them to obey. You can pray for them, you can instruct them, you can correct them (and that should happen), but at the end of the day, they cannot be forced to obey what is good. Which leads to the second lesson.

 

Second, you, parents, must not take the fall for your children. At the end of the day, they made the choice. Now, again, there may be circumstances and aspects not being reflected, but that is where you have to seek the leading of God and His presence. There may be times when you should be there, but at the same time, please remember that your children do have free wills, and the Bible does say there is consequences for both good and bad decisions. You should not take the blame, nor should you accept blame being put on you, if you are teaching Biblical truth. That means lesson one is vital.